Many applications ask for some sort of reference, a person with whom you’ve worked that can attest to all of the stuff you submit as part of your application. No matter what year you are in school, it’s always a daunting part of the application process. Who do you ask? What sorts of information do they need? What if they say no?

The cardinal rule of references is that you always need to ask permission to list someone as a reference or letter writer. Do not list someone as a reference without first asking their permission.

Things to Do Before You Ask

Before you ask for someone to serve as a reference or recommender, there are somethings you need to have settled:

1. You should know what type of reference the application is asking for;
2. You should have a clear understanding of why asking this person to serve as a recommender is important to your application;
3. You should know what the timeline for the application process is;
4. You should have at least a draft of your application materials available.

Why are these things important well, let’s tackle one at a time.

You should know what type of reference the application is asking for

It’s important to note there are typically three different types of references that an application (for a job, fellowship, scholarship, graduate school, etc.) might ask for:

Reference

A simple reference is most common when applying for a job. These simple reference (typically you’re asked for 1 to 3) are often meant to serve as a “verification” of your application, though sometimes they be considered as a supplement. Typically, for this type of reference, you’re just asked to include their contact info and you might be asked to describe your relationship with that person (e.g. boss; research advisor; etc.).

Make sure to read the text of the application requirements carefully as it may indicate how (and at what stage in the process) your references will be contacted about your application. Some companies/committees will only reach out to your references if you make it past the first round of application scrutiny. Others might contact all applicant’s references. Others might never reach out to your references. No matter what happens, it is important to let your listed references know when and how they should expect to be contacted.

At some point in the process, your reference will likely receive an email or phone call from the company/committee asking about your application.

Recommender

This is sort of an in between area. Sometimes, this can mean: “we want you to list references and if you make it to the final stage of application review we’ll ask them to submit a letter.” If it seems like this applies to your job, make sure to communicate this to your recommender. “You’ll only need to submit a letter if I make it past the first round. It looks like that would be sometime in Late August.”

Letter Writer

This one is most common for academic positions and scholarships. This is unequivocal: your recommender is expected to write you a letter and submit it via an online portal, mail, or email by a set deadline. Typically you’re asked for two or three letter writers (though I’ve seen some places request up to five).

You should have a clear understanding of why you are asking this person to serve as a recommender

There’s a reason you have decided to ask this person to be a recommender. Make sure you can verbalize that reason to that person! One example of this is below in bullet points:

• The call for applications says that applicants need to have leadership experience
• I think you would be able to attest to my leadership skills given my experience leading tutorials as a PM for CS 110
• Particularly, I think it’d be great if you could talk about how I served as a resource for the first-time PMs

Your recommender should be clear on what part of your story they’re helping to tell! Additionally, if you’re being asked for multiple recommenders, strategize on how to distribute your awesomeness across the letter writers (e.g. “I’ll ask Prof. Dumbledore to talk about my leadership skills in the classroom but then ask Prof. McGonagall to focus on my research experience in her lab”).

You should know what the timeline for the application process is

This should be pretty self explanatory. Writing a good letter takes a long time. Make sure to ask recommenders well in advance of the application deadline. Many applications have separate recommendation deadlines but regardless you should be asking your recommenders weeks before the earliest application deadline…not days.

Note: After someone has served as a recommender once, it is significantly easier to serve as a recommender in the future as we can update and tailor the letter to each new opportunity.

Sometimes, recommenders will say “no” and that’s okay. Academics are notoriously busy (especially at times of the year that you are also super busy) and no one wants to write a sub-standard letter. It could be the case that they literally do not have time to write you a good letter and think they would be doing a disservice by not having enough time to spend on it. Do not take it personally.

You should have a draft of your application materials available

Remember, your recommenders are meant to both verify and complement your other application materials. Oftentimes it’s incredibly helpful to have your supporting application materials in crafting a letter–particularly if the person you’re asking has only interacted with you in one particular context. I find that my letters are always stronger when I can call upon experiences that are mentioned elsewhere in your application and if I don’t have, for example, your resume (or curriculum vitae (CV) in academic parlance) it’s just that much harder to tie everything in your application together. There’s no need for these to be the absolute final version of things, but even say, a draft of your personal statement helps your recommender see the story you’re trying to tell.

General Advice

• You shouldn’t ask a professor for a letter of recommendation if the only relationship you have with them is taking their class. A letter writer needs to attest to how you are exceptional and if all they know is how you did in their class, there’s no way they can do that.
• It’s awesome to ask for a recommendation in-person as you can have a conversation about it right then and there, however, make sure to follow-up via email so there’s a written reminder that they’ve agreed to serve as a recommender.
• Make sure to make available any application materials you think would be helpful for your recommender, regardless of whether or not they actually have to write a letter. The more information we have about why you are exceptional, the easier it is for us to help you.
• If a recommender asks you questions about your application, respond as soon as you can. It’s imperative that we be able to clear up any confusion before the letter goes in. You want to tell a cohesive story across all your application materials.
• If you are submitting more than one application, do your best to summarize all of the requirements and applications in one place for your recommender (e.g. see below for an example of a student applying to various grad schools)

• Please send us reminders. A good rule of thumb is 1-month, 1-week, 1-day. If your recommender has a penchant for slow responses, you might consider changing the way your remind them. One strategy for professors hard to reach via email would be to try and drop by their office hours.

Things I Usually Ask People to Send Me When Asking for a Recommendation

Over the years I’ve found the following help me craft a letter that is supportive and complementary to a student’s application materials. Here’s what I typically ask for:

1. A copy of your resume or CV
2. Any application materials you think might be helpful to me (I like to coordinate my letter to the other strengths in your application, especially to highlight things the default application fields might not “feature”)
3. Any details about the programs/scholarship/job you’re applying for that you might think are helpful for me to understand (e.g. what sorts of students do they look for; what might make you stand out from other applicants; any specific reasons you’re applying)
4. A one-sentence summary of anything specific you’d like me to attest to in your recommendation.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

The worst that can happen is that someone says no. There are many times where students have asked me to serve as a recommender whom I’ve only met once or twice. Often times, we’re able to brainstorm someone who would be able to better attest to their amazing-ness.